My happiness is no longer

Once upon a time I used to be a very happy camper, loving life and taking it one day at a time. Till one day I gave my heart to someone. Now because of the way I feel about that person I feel like I am loosing my mind. Because of this I have lost my will, my motivation, my outlook, my being who I am. I sit and cry on occasion because of the way I feel. As I type this I am crying now. I try to use things that matter to me as an escape but the reality is that my reality out ways my fantasy thus i can never cheat my reality. Thus always reminded of my suffering. How can I over come when I have no help. How can. I think what has happen to me is that my emotions of love and caring have turned on me which has left me weak minded, gullible, and with no back bone. How do I come back from that. Now I find myself turning mean, and heart full of hate. I think one of my favorite movies has a meaning in it that NOW applies to me. "Hurt leads to pain, pain leads to anger, anger leads to the darkside of the force". I fear that I am a road in my life that could be negative because of the recent activities, Thus My hurt has lead to my pain, my pain is leading to my suffering, my suffering has made me a more angry person, and I think my anger will lead me to a dark part of my life. I remember once when I was a happy person, but now cause of love that is no more.

Eric Thorne,
Lord Anubus
AKA No longer The Ultimate BBW Lover